Harmony in relationships is achievable only when both partners invest in it. The balance between what we give and what we receive contributes to the development of a strong and long-lasting relationship. But it happens for there to be one partner to consider themselves deprived. In such cases, as a rule, the relationship is disrupted. Mutual claims accumulate and they can grow into open or suppressed conflicts. To solve this problem, it is necessary to understand the cause and eliminate it. There may be several reasons. So, let’s look at the main reasons for the lack of attention in a relationship.
1. You are closed
This often happens, especially with those people who, in the past, had a negative experience in a relationship. The psychological trauma of the past, if not healed, can affect our present and future. The person unconsciously closes themselves off from all display of affection, and it is not surprising that the partner simply ceases to display it themselves with time.
2. You do not pay enough attention to your partner
It is natural for a person who does not receive proper attention to not pay it in response. Someone has to take the first step and begin to show attention. Therefore, if you do not have enough of a warm and caring attitude from a partner, start giving it to them and they will answer you with reciprocity.
3. You constantly criticize your partner
The easiest way to distance yourself from a person is to start ceaselessly criticizing them. If you lack attention, then criticism, hysterics and blackmail won’t help you. Moreover, you will further alienate your partner and close their heart. Relationships destroyed by eternal criticism are very difficult to restore.
4. You do not talk about the lack of attention
This problem, as a rule, goes back to the childhood of the person. When parents of a not yet talking child try to guess their desires every time and offer different solutions when they cry, the child comes to expect this from all people, even in their adulthood. After all, for a child, their parents are the whole world, and they learns from them how this life and relationships with other people are structured. But this is actually easy to fix – do not expect from a partner that they will guess the attention you’re not getting, go and talk to them. Even the closest people cannot read our thoughts and plunge into our experiences.
5. You compare your partner with other people
Most often, this unproductive attitude is specific to women. “Look, Kate’s husband gives her roses every weekend, when was the last time you bought me flowers?” – words like these will never have a positive effect. This will only result in the partner closing themselves off. No one likes to be compared to someone who is better than them. Instead, you can just talk about what you would like to get, without talking about anyone else as an example.
6. You take it all upon yourself
Also a typical female problem. First, ladies take on a huge, overwhelming burden of responsibility, and men accept it. But then these women complain about the lack of care, that it is too hard for them and they would like for it to be different. Do not assume that you can take care of things better than your partner. Do not torment yourself with an unbearable burden. Just trust the person with whom you are going through life and ask them for help and care.
7. You repel your partner
At the beginning of a relationship, partners are always attentive to each other. But when one of them constantly stumbles on the fact that the second does not accept attention, their desire to care gradually fades. Again, consider the flowers example. Let’s say the man brought a beautiful bouquet to the woman, but the lady scolded him for excessive spending and casually reminded him that she would like new boots, not flowers that would wither in a week. After a time, when the lucky boot-owner has forgotten about the ill-fated bouquet, the man will not buy flowers for her anymore, but will concentrate on practical gifts instead. Therefore, one should not repel a partner from showing attention, whatever form they take.
8. You’re not grateful to your partner
A lot of people live with a stiff conviction that everyone owes them something. The husband should take care of his wife, make her gifts, and compliment her. The wife should support, care, be patient, beautiful, cook dinner and, at the same time, remain gentle. The root of this is ingratitude. When we think so, we take signs of affection for granted. But, in fact, the signs of affection are represented by the will of the person, their good intentions, and their gift, and it is necessary to show gratitude for it.
9. You are self-obsessed
Excessive concentration on one’s own person leads to the partner feeling themselves unnecessary and superfluous, and that they have no desire to care anymore. Moreover, when a person is egocentric, they may not notice that they are given affection and they may demand more and more. The partner of the egocentric themselves will lack attention, and, in order to somehow balance this, they will try to take care of themselves. These processes are subconscious, so people may not realize what is really happening. Self-analysis and looking at the relationship as if from the outside can change the situation.
10. The other does not like you
Loveless relationships are fashionable today. Classic love stories are only for the movies. In real life, love does not grow from nothing. In order to grow love, you need a seed – a personal decision. Time will not make your partner love you. Persuasion will not make them become more attentive to you if they do not love you. There is no sense in waiting for something. Love – it either exists or it does not.